1 John 5:14-15
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

Lately I've been praying for patience. I am easily aggrivated and angered by small things, not tomention bigger things. And as some of you know when you ask for more patience usually that comes with trials and tests. And well it has. For the past couple of weeks our sweet Elanoir hasnot been sleeping well. She falls asleep while rocking but then doesn't want to stay in her bed when we put her down and then sometimes she's up multiple times a night. At first we thought it was another ear infections, so we took her in, thinking for sure thats what it was...but, they said no! Her ears were clear. So they checked her gums thinking it was more molars coming in, but nothing. Eventually we came to the conclusion that she's just suddenly gotten this attachment to me and doesn't want to let me go. It's extremely frustrating, especially in the middle of the night. I don't sleep well as it is so if Chris gets up with her, I'm still awake due to the crying. I sleep well when my children sleep well. So instead of making him tired for no reason, I get up with her. We've spent many sleepless nights in the past 2 weeks together. I've prayed and prayed over her..and over her room. As the sleepless nights went on I became more frustrated and started asking God why he wasn't answering my prayers! "Where are you!" and "Why can't I sleep!" " I don't understand at all!" " Why can't I get her to sleep?" After a week and a half of more questions and prayers, I just couldn't take it anymore! Chris and I were at each others throats due to the lack of sleep and frustration. Well it just blew up one night and we fought it out...it wasn't pretty. We never fight, and I may be exaggerating a bit, but I would label this a fight. I was mad! I couldn't understand why she wasn't sleeping and I was utterly exhausted. At one point though my sweet husband said to me "You have to let her go!" I thought "WHAT??" What do you even mean by this!?

Well, I think I was making this week worse by trying to get her to sleep on my own. Instead of letting her cry it out in her bed, I'd try to hold her and get her to sleep. I thought that just letting her sleep on me instead of letting her cry in her bed would be better and then we'd get more sleep! Which may be the case but, in the long run wouldn't work! So I knew then that something had to change. So I started praying more. Then next night Ellie fell asleep on me, I put her in bed, of course she woke right up, and wondered what I was doing! But instead of getting her back up I let her cry. Yes it took 45 minutes but I knew I had to do it. And no, it's not like I left her in her room screaming for 45 minutes alone. I would go in and check on her every 2m at first..then every 4, then every 6. Laying her down each time and telling her she was fine and that I loved her. Eventually she went to sleep, out of exhaustion mostly, and she slept all night!

The next night she didn't even cry she slept all night. It's not like this every night we're still having rough nights...but, I'm more at peace with unanswered prayer because I know He will answer it in His timing. He's working on my patience. I was so worried about us getting to sleep because I had to rise at 5am the next morning and I knew I wouldn't be able to make it thru the day. Well what I didn't realize or think about was I couldn't make it thru the day without Him. He is the one who strengthens me. Ever since the 'big night' of my revelation I've been filled with the energy and alertness I need to get thru the day.

Last night wasn't good, Ellie went down fine but, then woke at 11pm screaming. I tried letting her cry for an hour (checking on her every few minutes) but, she wasn't calming down. After that hour I put her in bed with me and tried to get her to sleep and again, after an hour I gave up. So we got up and sat in the LazyBoy and covered up with a big blanket and both fell asleep within the next hour. 3 hours! At 2 am I put her back in bed and she slept till 7, still early for such a rough night if you ask me. Yes I know she still isn't sleeping great but one things changed and thats me and how I look at the situation. I had to take the day off work so I could sleep and not be falling asleep on my drive to the airport but, I'm resting in the fact that God's working on me and my patience!

This seems to fit my 'trial'. “Did you know that an eagle knows when a storm is approaching long before it breaks? The eagle will fly to high spot and wait for the winds to come. When the storm hits, it sets its wings so that the wind will pick it up and lift it above the storm. While the storm rages below, the eagle is soaring above it. The eagle does not escape the storm; it simply uses the storm to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the storm. When the storms of life come upon us, we can rise above them by setting our minds and our belief toward God. The storms do not have to overcome us; we can allow God's power to lift us above them. God enables us to ride the winds of the storm that bring sickness, tragedy, failure, and disappointment into our lives. We can soar above the storm. Remember, it is not the burdens of life that weigh us down, it is how we handle them.”

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